Love hurts less. Lesser than his hand slamming you against the wall, lesser than the scrutiny of his eye that sees you as a toy.
It all starts with a search for the unattainable fairytale love,
Your eyes dumbfounded at his authority and charisma.
I could never do better than this. You whisper.
So you fall in love with the stem of a rose with one petal left.
There’s so much more to hate than love but there’s something to love.
Only you haven’t seen the rose yet. You have not peeked inside the bouquet.
Because you’re so much more in love than you were ever before.
So now you think back to the time those flowers didn’t come with terms and conditions.
When the bruise on your neck was just a lovebite.
When you were pushed up against the wall but his hand rested on the back of your head.
“He was just a little angry. He had had such a bad day, it’s not his fault,” you whisper to yourself.
“I could never do better than this,” you whisper to yourself in false advice.
Oh, love really must be blind.
Sometimes you come back to your senses. And you realise that this isn’t love. That love hurts less.
But that moment is g o n e . Lost in his words of apology that could be seen through as clearly as a fishnet.
But as physics says- the things in motion tend to stay in motion and things at rest tend to stay at rest.
So your love for him stays in motion and your sense of self stays at rest.
Just know, when you escape, that you are whole and complete. That you are lovable and loving. That you didn’t do anything wrong.
Staying in front of a tiger just so it won’t starve is not better than running away so it doesn’t eat you.
You come first. You are not being selfish.
You are not a secondary character in your story, you shouldn’t be.
I love you. And the universe, its ready for you.
Yours truly 🌹
Toxic relationships make you feel like you brokenness is wrong and immortal. It isn’t. You are whole. In whatever kind of toxic relationship you are in, i hope you leave. 🌹